


A Little Bit of Comfort

by Donovanspen



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Alec, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Episode: s03e10 Erchomai, Supportive Magnus Bane
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-12
Updated: 2018-12-12
Packaged: 2019-09-16 16:31:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16957557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Donovanspen/pseuds/Donovanspen
Summary: Sometimes emotions just get the best of us.





	A Little Bit of Comfort

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta'd so all mistakes are mine. Please feel free to let me know of any typos, and I'll gratefully correct them.

Alec looked around the dimly lit infirmary, hoping to find something that would distract him. He was on edge with his nerves throbbing and mind racing, and lying still was only making him feel worse. The medic had checked on him an hour ago and had then left, dimming the lights on her way out. However, sleep wasn’t an option for him. Every time he closed his eyes, he kept replaying his fight with Jace, Magnus hovering over him, his eyes filled with worry.

He wanted to get up and join his family in dealing with the aftermath of taking on Lilith, but he could barely shift in this bed without pain shooting through his chest and wrist. He would heal, but due to the severity of his injuries, it would take a couple of days, or so he had been told when he regained consciousness. He’d been out for several hours and had woken up to find his family was already out handling damage control, and Magnus had been by his side for a while.  He assumed he’d left with Catarina, and while he desperately wanted his boyfriend right now, he remembered enough of what had happened in the alley to know that Magnus was dealing with his own issues.

There was no way Alec could remain on bed rest for more than a few hours. He needed to be doing something. Anything. If it was just the physical discomfort, he could deal with it, but no, he was dealing with so much more. Never mind his own muddled feelings about everything, he could feel all his parabatai’s emotions flowing through their bond. Jace was frantic over Clary and his emotions were almost suffocating Alec, the despair and guilt taking his breath away at times. And when Alec did get a moment of relief from his brother’s overwhelming feelings, his own would then stand up and demand attention. He should be out there looking for Clary as well, instead of being in this bed. He should be standing next to his parabatai who had just gone through hell.  His mother didn’t have her runes anymore, and she was out there putting her life on the line to help. Izzy was now carrying the weight of running the Institute. And Magnus. The man he loved had sacrificed who he was, and Alec couldn’t even be there for him.  And he was ashamed to even acknowledge it, but he also wanted to be near Magnus for himself as well. He was feeling so raw, and he wanted the comfort of his boyfriend’s arms.

He blinked back a few tears, angry at himself for losing control. Swallowing down his emotions wasn’t working anymore, especially with Jace being so amped up.  He couldn’t remember the last time he full on cried, but he was walking that line right now. He’d be damned if he’d do it in this infirmary bed, though. Unable to stop the tears that were streaming down his cheeks, Alec tried to sit up. The pain in his chest left him gasping and falling back onto the bed. It was too much. His breath hitched as he tried to hold back the sobs that were determined to break free.

He couldn’t be here. He tried again, this time making it to his feet, but it cost him dearly. The room swayed, and when he tried to grab hold of the bed, shards of pain shot through his wrist. Strong arms caught him, catching the brunt of his fall as they tumbled to the floor.

“Alexander.”

He was dizzy and nauseous from the pain, but he could tell that Magnus has been the one to catch him, was the one holding him cradled to his chest, murmuring comforting words. He heard footsteps and then Magnus quietly say “I got him.” And that was all it took for the dam to finally burst and great heaving sobs erupted from him.

“I’m so sorry,” he cried, trying to burrow further into Magnus’s lap.

“Shhh,” Magnus soothed, holding him ever so carefully.  “You’re ok. We’re ok.”

He wanted to respond, to tell him no, that they weren’t ok, but he couldn’t form the words right now. Maybe if it had been just his own feelings, he could have pressed on like always, but combined with Jace’s, he didn’t stand a chance. And while he was helpless to do anything but stay in the safety of his boyfriend’s arms, he hated himself for taking comfort when he should have been giving it.

He wasn’t sure how long they sat there until his emotions calmed down, and his physical discomfort became more pronounced. His cries had subsided to soft hitches, and while he still felt incredibly raw, he did feel more in control now.

“Better?” Magnus asked, wiping Alec’s cheeks.

“Yeah,” he whispered. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. How about we see if we can get you off this floor and back into bed.” Magnus waited until Alec nodded and then with firm but gentle hands, he helped Alec back up.

Alec almost felt like crying again, from both the pain and the humiliation of his breakdown.

“Do you need something for the pain?” Magnus asked, pulling the blanket back up over Alec.

He shook his head and reached out for Magnus with his good hand, gratified when Magnus took hold. “Are you all right?”

Magnus gave him a small smile. “I’m ok.”

“Magnus.”

“I’m not great, but I’m ok for right now. One step at a time. Let’s get you back on your feet, and we’ll take it from there.” He leaned over and pressed the softest kiss against Alec’s forehead.

So much had happened tonight, so much pain and loss, and he knew how fortunate he was that he and Magnus were here together. He shifted over a bit, and Magnus crawled into the bed next to him. They had never been this openly affectionate in the Institute, not where anyone could walk in, but Alec didn’t care. They had taken hits tonight, and now it was time to start healing.


End file.
